Parents and Family Members of Adults
The adult services team is here for you every step of the way with your adult child or family member with an Asperger profile. We realize that post high school adult life brings a whole new collection of opportunities and challenges and it is our mission to guide you along the way in this new frontier. Some of you may also find us later in your family member’s life — no matter the age of your adult, it’s not too late to reach out for support and answers.
Essential Resources:
Information and Education
Getting Started for Adults
Overview: Asperger/Autism Spectrum Diagnosis in Adults
Select Services and Support
Parent Coaching
Support Groups and Online Forum for Parents of Adults
Conferences, Workshop, and Webinars
For everything AANE has to offer parents and family members, visit our main family page.
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About Asperger/Autism Spectrum:
It is neurological and affects the way information is processed in the brain.
It is often an invisible difference. Many people appear very competent, but have difficulties in areas of communication and social interaction.
It has a genetic and hereditary... more
For more than two decades, AANE staff have learned about the talents and struggles of adults with Asperger profiles. Working closely and talking extensively with adults with Asperger’s, ranging in age from 18 to 83, along with their parents, relatives, and spouses, we have together explored... more
Adult Sibling Relationships
03/04/2021
Lee el mensaje de Dania en Español
Recently I heard the story of an adult on the spectrum who joined her three siblings to care for an elderly mother in hospice. When the mother died, the siblings had to make decisions and manage her small estate. During this trying time, the interaction was... more
Variations on a Theme
02/02/2021
Lee el mensaje de Dania en Español
I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways in which the COVID pandemic has created opposite responses for many on the autism spectrum. For some, loss of routine, changed social rules, and the fear of illness and death has been debilitating and has led to the... more
Rejecting the Diagnosis
Video
While many parents work diligently to help their child understand the Asperger/autism profile and provide various kinds of interventions and supports, many teens and young adults enter a phase where they reject their diagnosis. Executive Director Dania Jekel helps parents understand this situation and suggests constructive ways to... more
For individuals on the spectrum, sensitivity may not just be sensory. Many experience hypersensitivity to criticism, which can have a profound effect on self-esteem and other aspects of life. AANE's Executive Director discusses this issue and gives important advice to parents. Learn more about AANE at... more
For more information, call (617) 393-3824 or visit http://lifemap.aane.org AANE's Life Management Assistance Program (LifeMAP) provides practical assistance to individuals with Asperger Syndrome (AS) and related conditions. LifeMAP provides intensive, highly individualized coaching by professionals with expertise in both AS and specific... more
Mahoney Mark J - Asperger's Syndrome and the Criminal Law 2009
Introduction
For years parents of children with Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) struggle and
sacrifice in the simple hope that their child can lead a “normal” life – get an education,
have a satisfying career, and raise a family. The child has such hopes, too. Finding
the... more
In this webinar, Steven will teach you about the basics of undue influence, and why individuals on the autism spectrum are uniquely susceptible to it. He will explain the difference between healthy and unhealthy influence. Undue influence is not just an issue for religious cults; it is used by... more
Estate and Financial Planning
Webinar
... more
The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law: What every parent and professional needs to know
Recommended Reading
The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law: What every parent and professional needs to know
Jul 21, 2014
by Nick Dubin and Isabelle Henault
A good resource for families and professionals interested in legal and criminal issues in regards to AS and... more
Karen Lewis delivered this speech on May 15, 2005 at the annual AANE Gala.
My goal this evening is to recognize and honor the parents of children with Asperger’s Syndrome and to express thanks to AANE for being there to assist us all as we meet those special challenges of Asperger’s... more
North Star Foundation is a nonprofit whose mission is to place assistance dogs with children who face challenges. To date we have helped over forty families meet the social, emotional and educational goals of their children on the autism spectrum, through the use of well-bred, well-trained dogs.
Our dogs play a different role than traditional... more
The Self-Discovery of One Aspie Woman
11/09/2016
I had always thought of myself as a sensitive and independent introvert who had found her way after an anxious and lonely childhood. When I hit 40 years old, something shifted – so many of my peers had reached the traditional milestones of marriage, children, home buying, etc., none of which I... more
Finding housing for people with disabilities does not have to be overwhelming! There are tools and resources for locating housing available to families in Massachusetts that are affordable and accessible. This webinar will provide an overview of the affordable housing programs for persons with... more
Artist Collaborative
Video
A look into some amazing works of... more
The AANE Community
Video
The AANE community share their... more
A short description of the AANE LifeMAP... more
In Our Own Words
Video
Adults with Asperger profiles talk about their experiences and... more
Parallel Play Book Talk
Video
Tim Page, author of Parallel Play, discusses growing up with Asperger Syndrome and making his way in the... more
Meg Chittenden talks about growing up with a brother with Asperger... more
AANE Gala 2011 Speech
Video
Shonda and Curt Schilling introduce Brenda Dater-who shares stories from the AANE... more
AANE LifeMAP coaches talk about their coaching... more
Hear brothers and sisters of Asperger adults talk about growing up with their sibling on the autism... more
College students and recent college graduates with Asperger profiles share their experience with college life. They offer what helped them manage the transition to college and thrive in a new... more
Holding on and Letting Go
Webinar
Practical strategies for helping you and your family with the transition to... more
Learn about healthcare coverage for adults on the autism... more
Adults share their experiences of growing up and living with Asperger profiles.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4 (This... more
Adults share their experiences of growing up and living with Asperger profiles.
Part 1 (This Video)
Part 2
Part 3
Part... more
Adults share their experiences of growing up and living with Asperger profiles.
Part 1
Part 2 (This Video)
Part 3
Part... more
Aspertools: The Practical Guide for Understanding and Embracing Asperger’s ASD & Neurodiversity
Webinar
Harold Reitman, MD, author of Aspertools discusses what it means to be... more
Adults share their experiences of growing up and living with Asperger profiles.
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3 (This Video)
Part... more
Kai Long, a speech language pathologist, discusses communication challenges and strategies that... more
Anxiety Management Techniques
Webinar
Learn a variety of techniques to lower and manage your... more
Robin Lurie-Meyerkopf shares practical strategies for transitioning to... more
Everyone is different, no exceptions, this video delves into the many traits that people with Asperger profiles may... more
Learn about the hidden rules of the workplace and how you can manage when you are on the autism... more
Autism Without Fear: Examining the Legitimacy of Autism Life Coaches
External Resource
Over the last five years there’s been a noticeable increase in people with varying experience levels promoting themselves as “autism life coaches” — people who advertise their services to adults on the spectrum, parents or partners.
Read... more
The growing interest in neurodiversity—hiring people with cognitive disabilities like Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)—is motivated by companies looking to tap into a largely unnoticed labor pool at a time when many bemoan the lack of skilled... more
The Parent’s Guide to College for Students on the Autism Spectrum
Recommended Reading
This book, written by experienced college disability directors, is the authoritative guide to the subject. Dr. Lorraine Wolf and Dr. Jane Thierfeld Brown lead AANE’s “Preparing for College” workshops, and Dr. Thierfeld Brown offers college consultations to individual teens and their... more
Beyond the Wall: Personal Experiences with Autism and Asperger Syndrome, Second Edition
Recommended Reading
Author, Educator, Musician, Internationally acclaimed speaker and autistic adult offers so much more than the traditional autobiography. Drawing on personal and professional experience, Stephen Shore combines three voices to create a touching and, at the same time, highly informative book for... more
Autism-Asperger’s and Sexuality: Puberty and Beyond
Recommended Reading
Many people on the spectrum never get "the talk" from their parents, and suffer from "information deficit." This book goes a long way toward filling in the gaps in their knowledge. It takes a candid look at aspects of sex and relationships as they apply to people on the autism spectrum:
Learn... more
The Hidden Curriculum: Practical Solutions for Understanding Unstated Rules in Social Situations
Recommended Reading
A few years ago, I was speaking with a friend who is on the spectrum when he noted that life would be much easier if someone would just show me the rules. With the publication of The Hidden Curriculum, Myles, Trautman, and Schelvan have done just that. Utilizing concrete examples of hidden... more
Neurotribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity
Recommended Reading
The future of our society depends on our understanding autism. WIRED reporter Steve Silberman unearths the secret history of autism, long suppressed by the same clinicians who became famous for discovering it, and finds surprising answers to the crucial question of why the number of diagnoses has... more
Living Well on the Spectrum: How to Use Your Strengths to Meet the Challenges of…
Recommended Reading
Navigating the "neurotypical" world with an Asperger/Autism profile can be extremely stressful. But by understanding the specific ways your brain works differently--and how to tap into your personal strengths--you can greatly enhance your well-being. In this wise and practical book, experienced... more
Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s
Recommended Reading
Ever since he was young, John Robison longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother, Augusten Burroughs, in them)—had... more
Elijah’s Cup: A Family’s Journey into the Community and Culture of High Functioning Autism and…
Recommended Reading
In Elijah's Cup, Paradiz tells the powerful story of her family's struggle with her son's condition, one characterized by social awkwardness, literal-mindedness, and a fixation with particular subjects and interests.
Elijah's Cup offers a refreshing take on autism from the perspective of civil... more
Moving Out: A Family Guide to Residential Planning for Adults with Disabilities
Recommended Reading
Finding the right residential situation for an adult child doesn't have to be overwhelming. The authors share decades of experience counseling families on housing options to help parents prepare themselves and their children for a new living arrangement. Discover the universal considerations most... more
Legal Planning For Special Families in Massachusetts: A Family Guide to SSI, Guardianship and Estate…
Recommended Reading
Attorney and parent Barbara Jackins' new book is a must have resource for parents of children with special needs and the professionals and advocates who assist them. In an easy-to-read, conversational style, Jackins, the lead author of Special Needs Trust Administration Manual: A Guide for... more
Life, Animated
Recommended Reading
This is the real-life story of Owen Suskind, the son of the Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Ron Suskind and his wife, Cornelia. An autistic boy who couldn't speak for years, Owen memorized dozens of Disney movies, turned them into a language to express love and loss, kinship, brotherhood.The... more
Asperger’s and Self-Esteem: Hope Through Famous Role Models
Recommended Reading
Not every person with an Asperger profile is an Einstein--but it can be comforting and inspiring to know that Einstein, Mozart, Gregor Mendel, Mme. Curie, and others had some of the same struggles--and managed to make huge contributions to humankind.
Learn More and... more
Living Sensationally
Recommended Reading
Winnie Dunn has worked with many people with Asperger profiles. Based on her deep understanding of how their sensory issues impact their experience and functioning, she offers strategies to creating more hospitable environments and practical solutions. The book is refreshingly concise, with handy... more
People with Asperger profiles absolutely do have feelings, although they may have difficulty identifying and discussing them. In fact, many feelings – such as fear, anger and joy – seem to be experienced more intensely by those with Asperger profiles than by average people. In addition, some... more
There is some suggestion that environmental factors play a part in influencing certain characteristics of Asperger profiles, or may even affect the expression of genes. The emerging field of epigenetics, the study of the ways in which physiology can be shaped by external factors, might shed more light on this topic moving forward. We do know that... more
Disclosure in College
Article
Scott was one of two student panelists at AANE's spring 2012 "Perspectives on College Life" program.
My name is Scott Finkelstein and I just graduated from Brandeis University. I actually finished a semester early and am currently looking for a job (in case any of you are hiring…), but I will walk with the class of 2012 in the spring.
One... more
We live in a rapidly changing society that can be more hospitable to some people than to others. The rate of social and cultural change in and of itself can be overwhelming to those who typically struggle with transitions. Many people with an Asperger profile can easily feel over-stimulated by lights, sounds, and textures. In an increasingly... more
It is important that families of children with Asperger profiles also consider the special needs of the neurotypical (NT) siblings of these children. The good news is that studies comparing “typical” siblings of children with special needs to matched siblings have found the first group to have no greater chance of having psychological problems... more
Asperger Profiles: Genetics
Article
Nobody knows for sure what causes an Asperger profile. Current research indicates that there is a genetic foundation for this constellation of traits, involving a number of different genes. So it is not surprising that when a person receives an Asperger/ASD diagnosis, the family often realizes that... more
Some adults with Asperger profiles are able to lead completely independent lives; others need some assistance, particularly in the areas of housekeeping, money management, and meal preparation; and still others will require more substantial supports in their living arrangements. There is no reliable way to predict the level of support a child will... more
Many people with Asperger profiles have complex vocabularies and sophisticated speech, but using language to communicate, also called pragmatics, is a different matter. The rules of everyday conversation that come intuitively to most people have to be actively learned by individuals with Asperger... more
Neurodiversity
Article
Diagnostic labels, by nature, define disorders and tend to ignore the strengths, gifts, and adaptive benefits of the individuals diagnosed. In contrast to this, the Asperger constellation of traits has more recently been described as the product of natural variations in human neurology that lead to... more
As we look in detail at some strengths and challenges you might see in a person with an Asperger profile, keep in mind that people with these profiles are not all alike; they may differ from one another even more in respect to their areas of strength than in their areas of challenge.
Possible... more
Every person with Asperger Syndrome is developmentally delayed, not intellectually, but at the social-emotional level. This delay can be significant; for example, a 21-year-old may seem socially and emotionally more like a 14-year-old. The social consequences of being developmentally delayed often... more
On the Transition to Adulthood
Article
As I look back on my teenage years and early twenties, some themes emerge in my transition to adulthood. I gradually took on more and more responsibility for my own welfare. Because it was gradual, I never felt overwhelmed. I was also able to get advice from others to help me at various points. This advice helped me immensely. Unfortunately, there... more
People with Asperger profiles can and are successful writers, doctors, artists, professors, scientists, therapists, and executives among many other careers. Because the diagnosis is relatively new, few living high-profile adults have disclosed their own Asperger diagnoses. Among those who have disclosed their diagnoses include comedian Dan Aykroyd... more
In the year 2002, when I was seventy-one years old, I read a book review in the Times Literary Supplement (London). The author of the biography under review speculated that his subject might have suffered from Asperger’s. I recognized that the symptoms enumerated also applied to me. After further research, it seemed intuitively obvious to me... more
When parenting, teaching, befriending, treating, working alongside, or supervising someone with an Asperger profile:
Consider both the person’s challenges and his or her strengths.
Balance acceptance with teaching necessary skills.
Strengths-based interventions foster hope,... more
Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management
Recommended Reading
Many people suffer from feelings of stress and anxiety in their everyday lives. For people with Asperger Syndrome (AS), this stress can be particularly difficult to manage. On a daily basis people with AS must fit into a world that seems totally foreign to them and this can increase feelings of... more
Ask and Tell: Self-Advocacy and Disclosure for People on the Autism Spectrum
Recommended Reading
Edited by Stephen Shore, Ask and Tell aims to help autistic people effectively self-advocate in their pursuit of independent, productive, and fulfilling lives. Ask and Tell is unique by being the first book to speak to the twin issues of self-advocacy and disclosure for people on the... more
Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome
Recommended Reading
Girls with Asperger/Autism profiles are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognized, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness. This is a... more
Parenting without Panic: A Pocket Support Group for Parents of Children and Teens on the…
Recommended Reading
Ever wish that parenting a child or teen on the autism spectrum came with instant access to a support group? Brenda Dater has provided parents with exactly that. In this book she draws on her extensive experience as a support group leader and parent of a child on the spectrum to offer trusted... more
Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to…
Recommended Reading
At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, What the @#!% is wrong with my husband?! In David Finch’s case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains... more
Preface
Among the difficulties faced by young persons afflicted with Asperger's Syndrome (AS) and their families is the misinterpretation of the atypical behavior of the AS patient as dangerous and criminal. AS, defined in DSM-IV, is an “Autism Spectrum Disorder” (ASD) typified by extreme social and emotional immaturity, the inability to... more
Review of NeuroTribes: The Legacy of Autism and the Future of Neurodiversity by Steve Silberman
Article
NeuroTribes by Steve Silberman is, to put it in the simplest terms, the definitive history of scientific and popular knowledge of Autism in the western world. After a brief introduction detailing how Silberman became involved with journalistic accounts of autistic people and the scientific studies pertaining to them, the book opens with a... more
Who’s on Your Team?
Article
Many children with Asperger Syndrome (AS) are fortunate enough to have a team of people to support and work with them. In addition to parents, the team can include any number of professionals who think about, focus on, and implement recommendations to address the specific needs that arise as a result of AS. Although some people on the team may... more
Don’t Mourn for Us
Article
This article was published in the Autism Network International newsletter, Our Voice, Volume 1, Number 3, 1993. It is an outline of the presentation Jim gave at the 1993 International Conference on Autism in Toronto, and is addressed primarily to parents.
Parents often report that learning their child is autistic was the most... more
People with Asperger profiles present with a complex and at times perplexing combination of strengths and challenges.
Asperger brains process some kinds of information better than the brains of neurotypical people.
Dr. Hans Asperger (1906-1980) said: “It seems that for success in science or art, a dash of autism is essential.”
... more
While respecting the abilities and humanity of people with Asperger profiles, one should not underestimate their struggles and suffering they might endure. A society designed for and dominated by the neurotypical majority can feel uncongenial and even overwhelming for a person with an Asperger... more
Let’s look at dating as a pastime for teens, young adults, and adults. Webster says a pastime is “something that amuses and serves to pass time agreeably.” That is dating at its best. Most of us know that it also produces times of high anxiety, anger, sadness, and confusion. Dating, after... more
Coaching clients frequently ask me whether they should disclose their disability to an employer. My answer is, “It depends.” The best approach is to develop a personalized plan based on the many factors that affect employment outcomes. These factors include an individual’s job skills, primary challenges, employment history and... more
Disclosure for Adults
Article
Introduction
Disclosure is the process of making known what was previously unknown. This can mean an individual disclosing to others their suspicion of, or diagnosis of, their own Asperger profile. Additionally, this can refer to the process of a person suggesting to another that they might fit the description. In more broad terms, disclosure... more
This article is a general review of the pertinence of social security disability benefits to impairments presenting limitations associated with Asperger Syndrome. The author, an administrative law judge for the office of hearings and appeals of the social security administration, submits this article in his private capacity, without official... more
On their way to receiving an Autism Spectrum diagnosis, many people find themselves labelled with a variety of other conditions. These may include, but are not limited to, Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Major Depressive Disorder, Bipolar Disorder, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Post-Traumatic... more
Since most children with Asperger profiles appear to require some interventions, supports, or modifications to enable them to succeed in school, it seems reasonable to assume that many adults with Asperger profiles will require at least some supports or special conditions in the workplace. One of the most common concerns adults report to AANE is... more
Asperger Profiles: Invisibility
Article
It is important to understand and respect that someone with perceptual differences might need support while navigating a social landscape and culture predominantly shaped by neurotypical influences; their challenges may not be obvious to others. The gap between intellectual ability and functional presentation complicates the Asperger experience... more
Katie shares how parent coaching has helped her family. Sign up for Parent Coaching... more
Ross Kramer shares how Parent Coaching helped his family get on the right track.
Sign up for Parent... more