Creating my Own Self-Esteem

Sue York

I am a 53 year old woman with mild Asperger’s. My self- esteem is a constant struggle since I have never found a group that I could belong to. Most of my family cut ties with me after my mother died almost twenty years ago. She was the only person who understood me and would advise me on how to act ‘ human’. Without her, I have been sort of lost when it comes to people. So I have not sought social interactions for many years. The science seems to suggest that I will die younger than a social person. But I am not sure that applies to me.

I have been saved in many ways by the things that prevent me from fitting in. I use objective measures to validate my self esteem or things that aren’t dependent on others. I read and have grown more as a philosopher due to my isolation than I could have otherwise. The connections that I see now between facts or theories of various disciplines give me a richness of thought that belonging to a specific group would have prevented.