Relationships / Friends

Friendships and relationships can be challenging for many people. When you add an Asperger Profile to the equation, they can become more difficult. While some individuals are content without friendships or relationships, many people seek them out and crave that human connection. With knowledge and support, you can identify and overcome barriers to finding friends and relationships.

We recognize what you have to offer as a friend and partner. AANE is here with the support and resources you need to build skills and make connections.

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The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law: What every parent and professional needs to know

Recommended Reading
The Autism Spectrum, Sexuality and the Law: What every parent and professional needs to know Jul 21, 2014by Nick Dubin and Isabelle Henault A good resource for families and professionals interested in legal and criminal issues in regards to AS and... more

Marriage with Asperger’s Syndrome: 14 Practical Strategies

Article
By Eva Mendes, M.A., Psychotherapist & Couple's CounselorThe excerpts below focus on interventions for relationships in which an individual with Asperger Syndrome (AS) is partnered with a spouse or partner who does not have AS (a neurotypical). The article in its entirety may be found at www.evmendes.com.The Asperger's Association of... more

Asperger Fact Sheet

Article
About AS:It is a neurological condition that affects the way information is processed in the brain. AS is a hidden disability. Many people appear very competent, but they have difficulties in the areas of communication and social interaction. AS has a genetic and hereditary component... more

Viewing Marriage and Relationships Through the Asperger Lens (in Spanish)

Webinar
Learn how to view marriage and relationships through an Asperger/Autism Lens. Includes helpful tips for partners and spouses. This version is in... more

Romantic Relationships with Asperger’s and Autism: Successful Strategies for Couples and Spouses

Webinar
Strategies from Eva Mendes, author of Romantic Relationships with Asperger's and... more

Viewing Marriage and Long-Term Relationships Through an Asperger’s Lens

Webinar
Learn how to view marriage and relationships through an Asperger/Autism Lens. Includes helpful tips for partners and... more

Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger’s Syndrome (Autism Spectrum Disorder)

Recommended Reading
In “Marriage and Lasting Relationships with Asperger Syndrome,” Eva Mendes presents proven strategies to help neurodiverse couples in tricky relationships.  What makes this book so helpful — what makes it stand apart — is her ability to elucidate the realities of both partners in a... more

Autism-Asperger’s and Sexuality: Puberty and Beyond

Recommended Reading
Many people on the spectrum never get "the talk" from their parents, and suffer from "information deficit." This book goes a long way toward filling in the gaps in their knowledge. It takes a candid look at aspects of sex and relationships as they apply to people on the autism spectrum:Learn... more

The Hidden Curriculum: Practical Solutions for Understanding Unstated Rules in Social Situations

Recommended Reading
A few years ago, I was speaking with a friend who is on the spectrum when he noted that life would be much easier if someone would just show me the rules. With the publication of The Hidden Curriculum, Myles, Trautman, and Schelvan have done just that. Utilizing concrete examples of hidden... more

Living Well on the Spectrum: How to Use Your Strengths to Meet the Challenges of…

Recommended Reading
Navigating the "neurotypical" world with an Asperger/Autism profile can be extremely stressful. But by understanding the specific ways your brain works differently--and how to tap into your personal strengths--you can greatly enhance your well-being. In this wise and practical book, experienced... more

Look Me in the Eye: My Life with Asperger’s

Recommended Reading
Ever since he was young, John Robison longed to connect with other people, but by the time he was a teenager, his odd habits—an inclination to blurt out non sequiturs, avoid eye contact, dismantle radios, and dig five-foot holes (and stick his younger brother, Augusten Burroughs, in them)—had... more

Parallel Play

Recommended Reading
In 1997, Tim Page won the Pulitzer Prize for Criticism for his work as the chief classical music critic of The Washington Post, work that the Pulitzer board called “lucid and illuminating.” Three years later, at the age of 45, he was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome–a form of autism... more

Asperger’s From the Inside-Out

Recommended Reading
Michael John Carley was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome at thirty-six-when his young son received the same diagnosis. This fascinating book reveals his personal experience with the confusion associated with this condition-and offers insights into living an independent and productive life. Former... more

Making Sense of Sex: A Forthright Guide to Puberty, Sex and Relationships for People With…

Recommended Reading
Sarah Attwood has written a clear, practical guide to help teach teens with Asperger profiles about an essential subject that many parents and educators find it difficult to address.Learn More and... more

Living Sensationally

Recommended Reading
Winnie Dunn has worked with many people with Asperger profiles. Based on her deep understanding of how their sensory issues impact their experience and functioning, she offers strategies to creating more hospitable environments and practical solutions. The book is refreshingly concise, with handy... more

Meet the People Being Left Out of Mainstream Conversations About Autism

Article
"It was a white people's thing... it was a guy's thing." Michon Neal, 27, a genderqueer person who uses the pronoun "ze," didn't realize ze had Asperger's until less than a year ago. The only people ze had seen representing the syndrome were white men. As an intersex, mixed-race person who is... more

Married, with Asperger’s

Article
He’s finally trained! My husband of 26 years has scarcely completed a single one of my sentences all this year. Like most neurotypical people, Christopher has a tendency to want to finish someone’s sentence when there is a pause. That is not helpful for me!I received my diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome (AS) in 1994, shortly after the birth... more

Asperger Profiles: Understanding Strengths and Challenges

Article
When parenting, teaching, befriending, treating, working alongside, or supervising someone with an Asperger profile:Consider both the person’s challenges and his or her strengths. Balance acceptance with teaching necessary skills. Strengths-based interventions foster hope, inspiration, and energy. People with Asperger profiles... more

Asperger Syndrome and Anxiety: A Guide to Successful Stress Management

Recommended Reading
Many people suffer from feelings of stress and anxiety in their everyday lives. For people with Asperger Syndrome (AS), this stress can be particularly difficult to manage. On a daily basis people with AS must fit into a world that seems totally foreign to them and this can increase feelings of... more

Ask and Tell: Self-Advocacy and Disclosure for People on the Autism Spectrum

Recommended Reading
Edited by Stephen Shore, Ask and Tell aims to help autistic people effectively self-advocate in their pursuit of independent, productive, and fulfilling lives. Ask and Tell is unique by being the first book to speak to the twin issues of self-advocacy and disclosure for people on the... more

Aspergirls: Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome

Recommended Reading
Girls with Asperger/Autism profiles are less frequently diagnosed than boys, and even once symptoms have been recognized, help is often not readily available. The image of coping well presented by AS females of any age can often mask difficulties, deficits, challenges, and loneliness. This is a... more

Journal of Best Practices: A Memoir of Marriage, Asperger Syndrome, and One Man’s Quest to…

Recommended Reading
At some point in nearly every marriage, a wife finds herself asking, What the @#!% is wrong with my husband?! In David Finch’s case, this turns out to be an apt question. Five years after he married Kristen, the love of his life, they learn that he has Asperger syndrome. The diagnosis explains... more

Romantic Relationships

Article
Romance, dating, long-term relationships, and marriage enter into the lives of some people with Asperger profiles, and of these, many start their own families and become successful parents. Dating presents challenges for many with Asperger profiles because it involves subtle social communication and requires one partner to “experience” the... more

Who’s on Your Team?

Article
Many children with Asperger Syndrome (AS) are fortunate enough to have a team of people to support and work with them. In addition to parents, the team can include any number of professionals who think about, focus on, and implement recommendations to address the specific needs that arise as a result of AS. Although some people on the team may... more

The Dating Scene — Are You Interested?

Article
Let’s look at dating as a pastime for teens, young adults, and adults. Webster says a pastime is “something that amuses and serves to pass time agreeably.” That is dating at its best. Most of us know that it also produces times of high anxiety, anger, sadness, and confusion. Dating, after all, is one kind of relationship, and all... more

Living with an Asperger Profile for Adults

Article
For more than two decades, AANE staff have learned about the talents and struggles of adults with Asperger profiles. Working closely and talking extensively with adults with Asperger’s, ranging in age from 18 to 83, along with their parents, relatives, and spouses, we have together explored successful strategies for addressing the challenges of... more

Friendships and Relationships

Article
Friendships and relationships can be challenging for many people. When you add an Asperger Profile to the equation, they can become more difficult. While some individuals are content without friendships or relationships, many people seek them out and crave that human connection. Adults with Asperger profiles may have difficulty navigating the... more

Asperger Marriage: Viewing Partnerships Through a Different Lens

Article
The excerpts below focus on interventions and suggestions for relationships in which a man with Asperger Syndrome (AS) is partnered with a woman who does not have AS (or a non-AS woman). The article in its entirety may be found at NASWMA.org. (AANE can also assist non-AS men partnered with women with AS.)Several times a year AANE offers... more

Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity and Asperger/Autism

Article
Individuals on the Autism spectrum tend to be less influenced by or responsive to societal expectations or constraints. In many ways this individuality and “marching to a different drummer” leads to greater challenges fitting in socially and in the workplace; in other ways this out of the box... more