Emotional Hypersensitivity, Anyone?
by Nomi
Hi everyone!
I was so happy to get some great answers to my recent question/challenge, I was wondering if you all would be up to answering another one. The question is: do you find that you are hypersensitive to emotional cues in the environment? In other words, do you get happy / sad / angry / etc. more easily than other people (neurotypical people, maybe) do in identical circumstances?
This is a problem I have always had, and it has resulted in a number of “therapy” groups, intended to alleviate my depression, actually making me feel worse (since I would hear other people’s painful stories). This sensitivity even gets in the way of my learning: I love playing with ideas at school and enjoy emotionally-neutral subjects like logic or animal studies or bio-engineering (for example). But history, sociology, politics, even psychology — these subjects tell sad stories and are too upsetting for me to dwell on for long. When I read, I read factual information and ideas rather than novels and biographies, for the simple reason that I have never encountered a novel or a biography that wasn’t intensely sad at some point.
I can easily become sad, angry, and even depressed whenever I discover something has gone wrong in the world — which, of course, is often. As a result, I sometimes feel my happiness is dependent upon positive things happening in a too-often selfish and callous world. On the other hand, when happy things do happen around me, I feel that happiness very intensely — complete with jumping up and down and flapping my hands with excitement.
So, what about you? Do you get sad or angry easily? What kinds of things in the world upset you the most? Do you avoid these things? What about things that make you happy? I’m really curious to know. Thanks!!
November 9, 2010
Posted in: AS Community & Culture, AS Information & Support, Life
Tags: AS, AS Community & Culture, Asperger's, depression, emotion, emotional, happiness, happy, hypersensitivity, life, sad, sadness, sensitivity
14 Comments
14 Responses
I’m sort of the opposite: emotions are not very “contagious” to me, and I often don’t feel as strongly in a situation as other people. An exception is movies and fictional books, which trigger my empathy and tend to leave me feeling emotionally drained.
Hi Nomi – that’s very interesting what you said about not reading novels. I never read novels either – mostly I think that’s because I’m always looking for facts, but maybe there is more to it. When my children were little I used to read books aloud to them that I had known from my childhood. I used to get so choked up that I’d have to stop reading because my throat hurt too much – especially from reading Laura Ingalls Wilder’s Little House books.
Your comments also bring to mind stories of my husband’s grandmother whom I suspect may have had aspergers. He says she would read the newspaper every morning and get sobbing so much from the sad stories that her family would take the newspaper away from her.
Ben Stiller movies trigger something in me. I have a hard time sitting through a guy getting punked out for two hours. Scenes of accidents, too. I can’t see a wound without feeling it intensely myself.
News though? I have no problems there. The news continually reaffirms my belief that the world is ridiculous (and run by power-hungry cavemen). Hand the keys to some Aspie’s for a decade, and we’ll see the world that can be.
I seriously can’t handle social awkwardness (of the sort that Ben Stiller apparently finds so amusing, for example). I usually have to get up and leave the room several times during most romantic comedies. Or at least shut my eyes, plug my ears, and hum the Smurfs theme until the scene is over (that tune always helps, don’t know why). Oddly, scenes of violent dismemberment are not a problem.
I have the same problem as Abram due to the fact I can watch a bloody, vile dismemberment and make jokes about it but social akwardness is too much. I have to look away or cover my face when someone else is embarrsaed on a movie or T.V. it’s really annoying. Any ideas?
missed a comma and spelled embarrased wrong (OCD)
Hi Nomi:
I can´t stand sad, violent or scary movies. I get very happy with good news, as the one in Chile about the rescue in the mine.
I don´t like reading the news with bad or sad stories, and I guess sometimes my family preferes not to tell me bad news because I worry too much o get too sad.
I´ve always been hipersensitive.
It´s nice no know someone else is too.
That’s super interesting, what people have said about books, movies and the news! I can relate to all the emotional hyper-sensitivity experiences you described. I cannot tolerate most movies (except documentaries or comedies!), and the news makes me feel kind of sick.
I’ve also been thinking that it was probably careless of me not to mention emotional hypo-sensitivity or just simply emotional difference. As DJ’s comment implies, DIFFERENCES in emotional sensitivity are what characterize Aspies — not hyper-sensitivity in particular.
(As a side note, I totally agree with Chris about how Aspies should take over! Politics ARE primitive and positively ludicrous. The problem, as I have heard it described, is that the people who are intelligent enough to govern in a way that is sane are also far too intelligent to ever try to govern… So how about a planet exclusively for Aspies and chosen NT kin?!)
Hi again — I think I forgot to respond to what Abram and Isaac said about being unable to watch social awkwardness in movies and on TV. That actually makes a lot of sense to me. It may be comparable to the experience victims of violence and abuse have when they see violence on TV or in the news. I don’t by any means wish to trivialize the experiences of violence victims. However, I can say that far too many Aspies have experienced social, emotional, even physical humiliation, harassment, and bullying — it is just a really common experience. And it can be bad enough, I believe, to have psychological effects similar to trauma. Most Aspies have suffered at one point or another from our social awkwardness, and witnessing it on the screen reminds us (consciously or unconsciously) of our own humiliation. It is all too familiar! I’m not sure what we can do about this, except try not to watch the stuff — that’s what I do, anyway. We all have sore spots, vulnerabilities, raw nerves — Aspie or not. We do better when we avoid the things that are too close to home, the things that lug us back into memories of negative, helpless experiences. Does this sound right?
I think my husband has aspie…He literally cries when he watches movies. He only likes to watch drama and comedy. He also watches the same movies over and over again…He is very sensative to words. He only hears the words that he wants, and then the onversation always gets switched onto him. He doesn’t understand my emotional needs or feelings. He has no empathy, nor sympathy. He recites lines from movies as if it is his own life? I’ve been trying to get answers to his social difference. He absolutely REFUSES to go to a doctor. He is 46 and i’m 36…Can someone please help me understand him. I’m ready to move out again!
My aspie son often cries at dramatic music, such as in church, or a love song type soundtrack in a movie such as a Disney movie. He gets embarressed and hides, or runs and gives me a hug, depending on who else is in the room. He has also been reduced to tears at over the top drama intended to be funny (has anyone seen the “skinny jean syndrome” episode of Sunny with a Chance on Disney?)
Wow! Am I excited to read these blogs, comments, and interactions…!
I have recently discovered that I have been trying to navigate through life with an unbeknownst, and undiagnosed form of Asperger’s. After talking with Max @ the AANE… I was elated to find myself feeling 100 pounds lighter emotionally! There are others!!! Hallelujah!
I will keep reading, and coralling my thoughts (not an easy feat!)and will submit mor comments, replies, and maybe even blog myself…
“Visualize Whirled Peas”
WayNutz (Wayne)
http://www.Juiceaholic.org
http://www.phatboyzklub.wordpress.com/raw-wayne/
I cry at very moving music too, ballets, movies where there may be nothing sad. It seems to me like a sensory overload and I just tear up. I also hide this too. Sometime things seem too real for me as well. My husband took me to Disney Hollywood Studios and we rode a ride where there are actors and there is shooting going on I began to tear up. I know it is not real, but when you are getting messages to run, be scared, there is danger (as in a lot of the Disney attractions) it is very hard for me to process and I feel like an idiot because they are telling me to panic so my body feels it but I know it’s not real….very frustrating and hard to enjoy myself. I never watch or read the news because I can’t handle it. Anything with cruelty especailly to animals and children will make me sob, sometimes uncontrollably. I’m a vegetarian because of this. I’m super sensitive to screams in movies. It could be happy, sad, scared it doesn’t matter, I will tear up. It’s all just too much for me to process.
I don’t think I have aspergers, but I’m begining to realize that there is definitely something wrong with me. Most recently I’ve been getting made fun of because I’m stuttering and it’s starting to really bother me. The problem is I can’t seem to express how I feel to people because they just keep laughing. To make matters worse some of the kids at my school are starting to notice that I’m weird and they’re picking on me for it. In one class I have a spot that I always sit in, and one boy sat in my spot. I had trouble focusing the entire class and I was really close to crying. I’m scared that I really might be different, and I don’t know what to do about it.
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