Disability Awareness Speech

by Andrew Feldman

Hello everyone, and thank you for coming. Accepting other people with differences is an extremely difficult thing to do, especially in high school, and especially when the difference is a disability. I know from first-hand experience, because I was diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome (AS) in 7th grade. AS, a neurological and biological developmental disorder, is often characterized by difficulty understanding social and communication pragmatics such as: understanding facial expressions, understanding sarcasm as well as other jokes, using appropriate eye contact, or reading body language. Neurotypical children tend to acquire such everyday skills without formal instruction, whereas people with AS have to put in a lot of time, effort, and determination to develop them.

I will now tell you about my experience growing up and dealing with AS. Since I was very young I always had a lot of anxiety. Going through elementary school I had a lot of friends and play dates, and seemed to be progressing like every other kid my age. There’s one interesting memory that my parents and I have. (My parents remember this more then I do.) At my 4th grade birthday party I took 15 kids to a Red Sox game and it was a great time. Just one year later, for my 5th grade birthday, it was hard for me to find more then 3 people who would attend. I’m sure you’re wondering how this drastic change in friendships can happen in such a short one year span. I will tell you that the way kids interact with each other in 4th grade is a whole lot different than the way kids interact in 5th grade. By the time 5th grade rolls around kids begin to joke around with each other and form groups of friends to hang out with. Once these jokes started to happen I didn’t understand that they were jokes and I would take them seriously. For example, if someone called me a loser in a joking way, I would not interpret it as joking and would say something really mean back. Throughout 5th grade my friends kept on disappearing one by one due to my lack of understanding of this type of “fun.” By the end of 5th grade my parents began to think that something else was going on that was more than anxiety.

Middle school was hell for me, the worst years of my life. I would come home crying and saying, “Everyone hates me,” and even wondering what the point of living was. As you move through middle school the teasing and joking around only gets worse, which made my situation worse as well. I was constantly teased and picked on. I did not understand why this was happening to me, and at this point I don’t think my parents did either—I was always blaming someone else.

I got through my 7th grade year in the Needham public schools and I had had enough and so did my parents. They knew that I needed some support, although I didn’t want to accept it. Starting off 8th grade I went to a private school, but right from the start we knew this wasn’t the right place for me. I was reprimanded and punished for things I didn’t know were wrong such as saying inappropriate things. (At the time I didn’t know they were inappropriate.) I only stayed at that school for half a year. On February 3, 2003, half way through my 8th grade year, I started at the LABBB program in Belmont. The LABBB program has opened my eyes and helped me acknowledge the support I needed, and that is the reason I am so successful today. The LABBB program has saved my life! I know that for everyone in the audience that might seem like one giant leap, but it is true. If it wasn’t for all the work LABBB and my parents have done to get me the correct support, I don’t know if I would be standing up here talking to you today, or even living for that matter.

None of this drastic change happens without extreme hard work and determination from myself and my whole support team. When I first came to LABBB I was a kid with no friends, called out in class and couldn’t fit in socially anywhere. I thought it was all one big joke, that there was nothing wrong with me, and I didn’t need to be here, and everyone else needed to change. It took me probably a good year and a half to realize that I had struggles, but everyone had struggles and it was ok. I would hide behind doors and in offices when “regular” high school kids would walk by, because I didn’t want to be seen as a LABBB kid. I knew the other high schoolers thought that the LABBB kids were losers, and I was determined not to be one. Today I am not afraid to talk about my struggles, and definitely do not hide in the LABBB classroom anymore. I have worked for the past four years on accepting my disability, and that is the biggest thing anyone can do: accept your struggles, because everyone has them and no one is perfect. Once I accepted my disability I was determined to change and make myself feel socially acceptable. I sat in social group after social group, learning what sarcasm was, and what things to say to people, and how to make small talk and just simply interact with peers. Once I was taught things, I began storing these skills so I could take them out when needed. If I can say so myself, today I feel that I can successfully navigate social situations—but I still go back to the little things that LABBB has taught me about how to have appropriate eye contact or whatever it is. I want you people to realize that everyone struggles with something, but if you put your mind to it you can conquer your challenge and improve. I look up to everyone in the LABBB classroom, because some of those kids struggle with things that none of us could imagine dealing with everyday. They have inspired me to succeed, and I think they should inspire you, too.

After hearing me speak up here for 10 minutes or however long it has been, I do not want you to leave this lecture hall feeling bad for me; that is not the goal. I love my life. I continue to move on to bigger and better things, and I will never stop trying to improve. What I want you to take out of my talk is to realize that everyone struggles and has difficulty with something—everyone! So next time you go to make fun of someone who struggles with different things than you do, I want you to stop and think about how it would feel if you were made fun of for something you struggle with, however small that thing is.

Andrew delivered this speech at the Belmont High School in February of 2007. The LABBB Collaborative primarily serves students in the towns of Lexington, Arlington, Bedford, Belmont, and Burlington. Andrew impressed AANE staff when he appeared on the Channel 2 program Greater Boston in January of 2007. He is currently completing his freshman year at Endicott College.

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