Buddy-of-the-Week Program

By Anne Reel

In order to facilitate friendship and understanding in my son’s first-grade classroom, we started a Buddy-of-the-Week program. My son is now entering the 4th grade in a middle elementary school. He has high-functioning autism. The program has helped him make friends and helped his classmates understand how to be his friend. The best thing about the program is that the Buddy skills have carried over outside the classroom and school. As one non-classmate noted to his mother after a birthday party my son attended, “Everybody is nice to him.”

Where to begin

The first step of the Buddy program is to meet with the immediate team prior to the start of school to explain the goals of the program. The three key players in the program are the teacher, the aide, and the school adjustment counselor. Our three main goals for the program are:

  1. To help children feel comfortable with the child.
  2. To teach children how to interact with the child.
  3. To instill pride in the other children that they can make a difference to the child.

On the first day of school the teacher briefly explains what the Buddy-of-the-Week program is and posts a sign-up sheet with the responsibilities listed. The teacher tells the class that sometimes the child needs a helper and that the program is totally voluntary. S/he can ask previous classmates to tell the class how they helped the child and ask who of these children would like to be the first Buddy. Usually these children are honored and eager to show the new classmates what to do, and they may all want to be the first Buddy. In that case, a name is drawn out of a hat. The sign-up sheet looks like this:

Buddy-of-the-Week Sign-Up Sheet

Responsibilities

  1. Say hello to the child at the beginning of school.
  2. Help the child in line.
  3. Eat snack and lunch with the child.
  4. Play one game at snack and lunch recess with him/her.
  5. Give the child a compliment each day.
WEEK
NAME
SUBSTITUTE
Sept. 4-6    
Sept. 9-13    
Sept. 16-20    
Sept. 23-27    


We added on a substitute list this year because if a Buddy was absent, the other children flocked around the aide eager to take his/her place. The substitute list takes the pressure off the aide.

The aide explains the details of the Buddy responsibilities for the Buddy and models them for him/her. For example, my son does not always respond to a greeting or request if he is engaged in an activity. The aide models how to greet him in a way that assures his attention:

  1. Say child’s name and gently tap him/her once on the shoulder.
  2. Wait (count 5 seconds) for the child to look at you.
  3. If s/he doesn’t look, try again.
  4. Then talk to the child.

A complete list of responsibilities is detailed at the end. This list changes each year depending on the interests and abilities of the child.

If there is enough time, the teacher can pass out an information sheet for the children to fill out. This sheet looks like this:

[picture of child here]
Name:
Age:
Address:
Favorite Game:
Favorite Food:
Favorite Video Games:
Favorite Sport:
Pets:
Sisters or Brothers:


The aide takes a picture of each child and attaches it to the info sheet. The child has a sheet filled out as well. The aide and the child make the sheets into a Buddy Book and keep it in the classroom. At the beginning of each week the aide, the child and the Buddy go over the Buddy’s and child’s info sheets, adding or changing information as the year progresses. If possible, I arrange to have the Buddy over to play during his/her week. This hasn’t always been possible with everyone’s busy schedules, but it helps to reinforce friendship. I sometimes have the Buddy and one of his/her class friends over to make sure I have as many children over from the class as possible. The play date only lasts about an hour or so and I plan a craft or baking activity according to the interest of the Buddy. I ask the Buddy’s parent about likes and dislikes before the play date.

This Buddy Book is helpful in finding common interests for the child and other children in the classroom. For instance, it gives ideas for topics of conversation, games to play and activities such as drawing, sharing books or writing stories.

Open House

Another way to make things go smoothly is to talk about the Buddy program to the parents at open house night. I explain to the parents a little bit about my son and tell how autism affects him. I also invite people’s questions or comments during the year if they have any. Since many of the parents volunteer in the classroom, this information helps them feel more comfortable interacting with my son. I also tell them I would like to have their children over to play sometime.

Class Meetings

During the first few weeks of school the adjustment counselor visits the classroom once a week to address friendship skills. S/he arranges to come in at a time the child will be out of the classroom for a special activity (i.e., PT, OT, Speech, a special library visit). At times I have picked up my son early in order to facilitate the class meeting. The adjustment counselor talks about making friends, activities and interests, strengths and weaknesses, similarities and differences, etc. S/he then turns the topic to the child, pointing out some of the things discussed as it relates to him/her. It is good to have the aide present, if possible, so s/he can help explain some of the child’s actions, idiosyncrasies and special interests. If all three of the team are new to the child, the parent should be present at the meeting to give accurate information about the child. It might also be better to have that specific information meeting a month into the school year as everyone gets to know the child.

At the specific meeting the team invite the children to talk openly about things they’ve observed about the child. For instance, sometimes my son will speak out of turn or jump up to get something or make a silly remark. Talking about these things helps the children feel comfortable with them. The adjustment counselor, teacher, and aide assure the children that they understand why the child does certain things and that the whole class can help teach the child what to do in different situations. They emphasize being positive with the child and praising him/her when the child does a good job. As the school year progresses the adjustment counselor visits less frequently or on an as-needed basis.

Each year the Buddy-of-the-Week program changes to fit the age, interests, and abilities of the child, the style of the teacher and aide and the rest of the children in the classroom. As more and more children participate in this program they model friendship skills to people inside and outside the classroom. My son benefits immensely from this program. He acquires the modeled friendship skills and becomes increasingly involved in a supportive school and community.

Buddy-of-the-Week Responsibilities

  1. Greet the child every morning by saying, “Hi, _______. I’m your buddy this week.” To get the child’s attention:

    Say the child’s name and gently tap him/her once on the shoulder.
    Wait (count 5 seconds) for him/her to look at you.
    If the child doesn’t look, try again.
    Then talk to him/her.
  2. If there is time before school, you may tell the child a joke, read or play a game with him/her.
  3. Give the child at least one compliment a day. Wait for him/her to say thank you. Remember, get the child’s attention first.
  4. During snack give the child two choices for recess. For example, say, “_______, should we play on the swings or play tag at recess?” Some things the child likes to do at recess are:

    Outdoor Recess
    1. Swing.
    2. Play with the hula-hoop.
    3. Play tag.
    4. Play catch.
    5. Play basketball.

    Indoor Recess
    1. Play with Play-Doh.
    2. Draw.
    3. Play Connect Four.
    4. Play checkers.
  5. Eat lunch with _______.
    Before lunch, wash up at back sink. B. Go to lunch early with the child and the aide.
    Sit at the same table. At lunch, the child will ask you what you are having for lunch. Tell him/her and then ask the child what s/he is having for lunch.
  6. On Friday the Buddy goes to lunch and recess at the Adjustment Counselor’s with the child and the aide.

 

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